Why Julian Assange is really a sweetie

This morning, the Washington Post has run a story claiming that Wikileaks founder is about to be charged with espionage. But first of all, they have to find the real Julian Assange.

I have only two questions in relation to the Wikileaks saga – and they’re the same two questions I had at the outset: first, are many people surprised by what’s been revealed? And second, is Julian Assange just a self-aggrandising exhibitionist, or something more sinister?

I have to say that, based on the evidence to hand, there’s not a great deal in the Wikileaks incontinence that isn’t already either known or assumed.

This from a Ukrainian site in 2008 on the subject of Gadaffi:

‘When the leader sleeps, the soldier stays awake, and it’s the women who do the fighting. Gaddafi trusts his security to ladies only. The head of the Libyan Jamahiriya has a total of 300-400 girls on his security detail. According to the official story, all of them are virgins. Selection is done by Gaddafi himself. This whim has an explanation for it: In ancient times, they believed that the best guards were either virgins or lesbians, the underlying belief being that they could sense threats, the so-called “wind of death.”’

Similarly, the Assange revelations tell us that Bonker Berlusconi is feckless and vain with a penchant for partying. This is not news. For stuff on the madness of Kim Jong-il of North Korea, see this site on numerous occasions. We had the story long before Wikileaks. Hamid Karzai is ‘extremely weak’, Sarkozy is ‘thin-skinned and authoritarian’, Robert Mugabe is ‘a crazy old man’. Presenting any of these stories as exclusives to an Editor could get a person fired very quickly.

Traditional Arab States are worried about Ahmadinnejhad? Geddaway. The Saudis want the US to bomb the Iranian nuclear facility? Amazing. Mahmoud himself is ‘unstable, possibly unbalanced’? You’re kidding me!

The other main ‘finding’ to come out of these wicked leaks is that most countries think other countries are full of it, and their leaders a subject for ridicule. Well knock me down with a TGV.

Were I Hillary Clinton, I suspect I would regard Wikileaks as an excellent conduit for things I wanted to get into the public domain, thereafter to be denied as the misinformation of an organisation whose motives really must be in doubt.

Which brings us to the second question: what is Mr Assange really about? Well, the ‘mission for transparency’ doesn’t include Assange’s own parents: we have no names, and nobody seems to know anything beyond what they did….which was, on the whole, pretty kookie.

Julian Paul Assange was born in Queensland, Australia in 1971. He has variously been a mathematics student and hacker. His anonymous parents ran a travelling theatre group, but divorced when he was seven. In 1979, his mother remarried; her new husband was ‘a theatre producer and musician’ (we don’t know who he was either) who belonged to a seriously weird New Age group led by Anne Hamilton-Byrne.


Ms Hamilton-Byrne founded The Santiniketan Park Association, a kind of cross between the Moonies and the Nazis. She acquired fourteen infants and young children between about 1968 and 1975. Some were the natural children of Santiniketan members, and others had been obtained through irregular adoptions arranged by lawyers, doctors and social workers within the group who could bypass the normal processes. The children’s identities were changed using false birth certificates or deed-poll entries. All the kids were given the surname ‘Hamilton-Byrne’, and dressed alike even to the extent of their hair being dyed uniformly blonde:

Hamilton-Byrne’s Midwitch Cuckoos

Assange’s mother seems to have decided that her second husband’s friends were a tad controlling. She took both him and his half-brother into hiding for five years, as a means of avoiding legal action by the stepfather and discovery by the Moonazis. Traumatised by this, Julian eventually left home at the age of 16, and fathered a child two years later. He became a computer hacker, belonging to a group called “International Subversives”. And then he had a breakdown.

Did this odd childhood influence his personality? There are tell-tale clues in some of the behavioural data we have about Assange to suggest that yes, of course it did. Friends consistently talk of a man who needs “only five hours sleep”, who “is often bemused and energetic. He can concentrate intensely, in binges, but he is also the kind of person who will forget to reserve a plane ticket, or reserve a plane ticket and forget to pay for it, or pay for the ticket and forget to go to the airport….”

Rop Gonggrijp, a Dutch activist and hacker, explains of Assange’s time in Iceland:

“Julian can deal with incredibly little sleep, and a hell of a lot of chaos, but even he has his limits, and I could see that he was stretching himself…. I decided to come out and make things sane again.”

You don’t have to be Freud to see these as classic symptoms of an obsessively manic personality. These have, I would surmise, been exacerbated by an upbringing where suspicion of discovery alongside parental absences and conflict led him to fear enemies and expect desertion. From his own mouth in 2008 we have this exact reflection of such a background:

“I went to Sweden and stayed with a girl who is a foreign editor of a newspaper there, and she became so paranoid that the C.I.A. was trying to get me she left the house and abandoned me.”  (My italics)

Equally, no PhD in social anthropology is required to grasp why a man brought up with hiding and secrecy feels the need to reveal the secrets of others. There is an incipient paranoia in Assange’s outlook. Everyone, it seems – Kenyans, Russians, the CIA, the Pentagon – are out to get him. Given his track record, this may indeed by true; but the problem goes deeper than that.

Icelandic parliamentarian and enthusiastic supporter of Assange, Birgitta Jonsdottir says, “We are all paranoid schizophrenics.” She gestured at Assange during a 2010 interview …he was wearing a snowsuit. “Just look at how he dresses.” At this point in the conversation, Julian peeks through his curtained window to monitor events outside.

“It’s the camera van,” he deadpanned. “The brain-manipulation van. One of them has a weapon, see all those people standing out there…..”

Hmm. Do we perceive a selfless seeker after truth here? Or do we suspect that Julian Assange is a weirdo with a compulsive need to expose others, whatever the price?

And do we perhaps see bizarre delusions of grandeur? He has, he claims, changed the direction of the Kenyan election and transformed the Mideast peace process. When interrupted at work earlier this month, he snarled, “Look, I’m trying to stop two wars here”. He was working with North Korean leaks at the time.

It is common for contemporaryAmerica to assume some malign sovereign influence in play against all their problems. Statements coming out of the US over the last few days have consistently stressed ‘the anti-American element’. I think this is bollocks: the revelations have been far more damaging to the Arabs (remember, their citizens assume they’re not a bunch of cynical twisters) and North Korea. And the priceless bitchiness about the Putin/Medvedev thing can’t have done their image much good either.

No: Julian Assange is a sweetie. By that, I mean there’s a nut at the centre, covered in eugenic fruitcake of mother, and wrapped in the brittle paper of paranoia. He is Norman Bates reborn, but being a megalomaniac (despite what the flimsy ‘expose’ of Murdoch’s New York Post suggested) the bloke wants to kill countries, not pretty girls. We need protection from his more destructive forms of nihilism; but as for the gossip, I say let’s keep it coming….especially as his next target, we hear, is to be an American bank.

18 thoughts on “Why Julian Assange is really a sweetie

  1. John, you are massively missing the point about the significance of these revelations. Their importance lies not in their substance, or not, but rather that the US has been caught out saying them. They are a huge political embarrassment, which is why the status quo has pulled out all the stops to besmirch Assange’s reputation .


  2. When the truth is known, the man is nothing more than a dangerous nutcase and there is only one thing be done. Get rid of hm. I am surprised that no one has atttempted is yet. Gossip is nice, but destabilising the relationships between countries for the hell of it is exceedingly dangerous and unnecessary.


  3. JayJay500 Don’t be naive, all countries say the sames thing about each other. The moment an ambassador cannot be candid with his centre he cannot do his job properly.


  4. Louis, you apparently have no idea about how diplomacy works.
    Of course everyone knows these things go on behind the scenes, but it is quite another scenario when they are out in the open, with names and addresses attached.
    For example, now everyone knows the real US position on, say, Pakistan or Hamid Karzai, the next time Hilary Clinton gets up at a press conference to defend continued Nato involvement in Afghanistan you can guarantee an unfriendly journalist will attempt to embarrass her with impeccably sourced questions about why the US supports a regime it admits is paranoid and corrupt.


  5. I believe that we live in a time that will be seen in history as one of fundamental change. Many people believe that governments are in thrall to finance and corporations generally. There is a feeling that much of western democracy is not what most people imagine it to be. The people of the west do not know enough of China’s hopes and ambitions. The European project is also not clear to most voters.

    Therefore perhaps a good bit of tabloid interest (as long as it is not only about Prince Andrew) in something other than TV, tits and footie may help prepare people for some changes ahead, if only it can stir a small bit of interest.

    For any meaningful change in “the system” of governments and money we need a bit of destabilising through honesty and reality.

    The question of whether we are really getting any of that honesty is another matter.


  6. Exactly so JayJay500
    Which is why from here on all those involved in politics had better realise that there is NO hiding place, that every word will, sooner or later, be revealed. So better to be honest and truthful in all your dealings rather than lying, deceitful and manipulative. Don’t expect to be able to say one thing about President Karzai one day and something entirely different to him – or to your voting public – the next. A tricky new era for the so called “diplomat”, envoy or politician.


  7. The world needs more whistle blowers to expose the wrongs either by so called democratic or despotic whatever country! Then as one other blogger wrote about, those elected or employed to defend will be forced to maintain an open and honest approach with all those of us who entrusted them.


  8. Louis, So you are saying that the moment an ambassador cant call his counterpart an idiot and laugh about how hes screwing him and his country with his centre, he cannot do his job properly?

    Are you really believing that garbage?


  9. Can’t go through all the revelations but you really have been reading the wrong stuff. You are reading the gossip section of the leaks.

    In both Sweden and Norway there are very uncomfortable revelations. In Sweden, there is a cosy relationship between the US and civil servants who both tried to keep parliament from making a law about US snooping on Swedish Citizens… Why is that important? Because according to Swedish law all US requests for info about citizens would have to go through Parliament. While there was no law, the Civil servants were just feeding all personal/biomet/financial info in bucketfuls to the US.

    If I was a Swede I would want those C. Servants shot for treason.

    The reason why there are no “surprising revelations” to date is because the press is unable to interpret the meaning/implications of most of it. (9bn slipped from Sudan to UK banks has yet to be analysed in depth also. Lloyds could be party to laundering on a massive scale).

    And look for seeding in the documents. Already nothing from Israel (weird), but the US knew this was going out (has been leaking for a few years for other governments).

    Sure, Berlusconi and baby birds and Merkel is cautious is not interesting. All other tittle tattle revelations are tiresome.

    Couldn’t give a toss about J. Assange. He is not important.


  10. You seem to be agreeing violently with what I wrote in this and later posts.
    But ‘Assange is not important’ is, to be blunt, naive: the global media set wound up by Washington have decided he is, ergo he is.


  11. julian assange – the screwy genius-code-breaker (with a pathological desire to control everything he surveys) who has fostered an undergound-cult-following amongst the world’s emotionally unintellectual.


  12. And do we perhaps see bizarre delusions of grandeur? He has, he claims, changed the direction of the Kenyan election and transformed the Mideast peace process. When interrupted at work earlier this month, he snarled, “Look, I’m trying to stop two wars here”. He was working with North Korean leaks at the time.

    politicians and voters change the course of elections, soldiers and civilians change the course of wars and peace-processes, leakers and writers just gossip about and pass judgement upon other people’s business. bradley manning is a soldier, by the way – and if any wars is ‘stopped’, manning will be one of the soldiers responsible for such an outcome.


  13. One thing is certain, he is the most attractive man I’ve ever seen. I would love to do very bad things to/with him!


  14. Pingback: At the End of the Day | The Slog.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s