EU BOLLOCKS: NITRATE AND NITWITS CREATE AN IRISH PROBLEM

Guinness isn’t good for EU

If you’ve ever had a pint of proper Irish Guinness, you may not make it to the end of this post without a bp of 180/135. Proper Guinness brewed with Irish soft water and protein-packed malted barley is a wondrous experience.

The European mainland has been slow to get educated about the black Irish magic. A Dutch office colleague I bought a pint for forty years ago told me, “It is like drinking a pillow” – a memorable description, but not one that does it any kind of justice. Getting merry on real Guinness is like necking with a gently erotic nymph.

I didn’t know this until now, but producing barley for good beer – and especially Guinness – depends crucially on a reasonably high level of nitrogen. And without the use of nitrate fertilizer, those levels can’t be achieved. As a result of the European Nitrates Directive, protein levels in Irish malting barley crops over the past two harvests have fallen – plunged, in fact, to a level where brewers can no longer  use them to make Guinness. Brewers there are committed to an Irish-based malting industry, but the current rules are putting the future of the industry at risk.

How dangerous to humans are nitrates and nitrites? According to a new study by scientists at Rhode Island Hospital, there could be a risk of serious and even fatal diseases because of chemicals used to fertilize and to preserve food. It found ‘a strong link between increasing levels of nitrates and nitrites in our food supply, and increasing death rates from Alzheimer’s, diabetes mellitus and Parkinson’s disease’.

That’s it. I mean, that really is it. Well Rhode Island Hospital, I’ve got news for you: Guinness is a toxic substance. Straight up – it is. Having six pints of Guinness a day is going to pickle your liver long before the nitrates are even using the tu forme with your intestines or brain. But it appears that, because of yet another ‘could-be’ piece of research study using five obese rats, Guinness may soon be no more.

Contrary studies, meanwhile, claim that Guinness can be beneficial to the heart. Researchers found that antioxidant compounds in Guinness, similar to those found in certain fruits and vegetables, are responsible for health benefits because they slow down the deposit of harmful cholesterol on the artery walls. In fact, Guinness is also far less fattening than most people think. So it seems that the health issue with the nitrates in the black stuff is a non-event.


Except that very little is ever as it seems. Having been informed about all this nonsense yesterday, I’ve been doing the Slog-digging routine. And a few boffin/booze people I know have been jolly helpful.


Nitrate fertilizers are increasingly used these days in the making of bombs. Bombs to kill infidels, made in the kitchens of our ever-welcoming land by the truculent Sons of Allah. The Slog’s mole in Brussels informs me that the Commission has a real down on nitrates. As in, they don’t want the Islamists to find it easy to get hold of nitrate fertilizer. Happy to let Turkey into the EU, and support vast flotillas of Hamas bomb-makers, but not at ease with the idea of nitrates being available for alcohol production…which is bad for you anyway. (I’m being serious – that’s what he said.)


But there’s more. The other thing worrying Belgian white-beer producers sorry concerned Commissioners is that nitrates are wickedly warmist. This from the website Planetsave:

 ‘The high rate of application of nitrogen-rich fertilizers has effects on the heat storage of cropland’
In fact, nitrates are at Number Five in Planetsave’s Hot Ten emission nasties. But as the site doesn’t give any spot in its list to human and livestock breathing and farting – more or less accepted by the sane warmists as 45% of all alleged global warming effects – I’m not about to take it too seriously.
Put it like this: you could cover the whole of Ireland in a four foot depth of nitrate fertilizer, and it might equal half a factory in Szechuan province in terms of eco-damage. The entire French farming system is based on growing water-intensive maize in order that it might be fed to millions of flatulent cows. But nitrates worry the Brussels commissioners, so no more nitrates.

A world without Guinness would be unbearable. And an Irish economy without Guinness would be a very serious problem indeed. Guinness owners Diageo, citing the “current difficult global economic situation,” have already shelved plans to build a new 1.5 billion euro factory for export use. Last year was the 250th anniversary of the Guinness business, and although young drinkers have been turning away from it, it is brewed in more than fifty countries, remaining easily the biggest stout beer brand in the world. Ten million pints of Guinness are drunk every day worldwide – over two billion a year.

And of course, Ireland is on the brink of bankruptcy even without this bollocks.

This is just one of the reasons why any sane marketing, sales, libertarian, financial or trade expert would need slightly under three seconds to decide that the United Kingdom would be far better off outside the EU. For myself, the main motivation is to get as far away as possible from the malign influence of Harmanism, Health & Safety, political correctness, corruption, bloated public sectors and trade union militancy – but that’s just me.

It’s crystal clear, investigating this issue, that the Commission clowns haven’t given a moment’s thought to how bad this will be for the EU in terms of lost exports and new imports. Any fonctionnaire unable to see why the economy of a struggling member State is far more important than flaky research about nitrates is obviously unhinged. But the EU is full of them. And that’s why – no matter how many people think they can reform it – the European Union will always be the George Best of suprastates: it will never, ever be able to resist the mind-altering intoxication of pointless rules.