Jane Kennedy the MP for Wavertree is one of the many MPs standing down from the exhausting and underpaid life that is the lot of those in New Labour. She was first elected in 1992 and served forgettably as a minister under both Tony Blair and Gordon Brown. Last June, after Zanu came third behind UKIP, Jane saw the five-foot writing on the wailing wall and told Gordo the Great he should go. This earned her the sack, but before that Jane was charging the taxpayer £83,367 for ‘staff’ at her Liverpool HQ, her own £200,000 detached house. She omitted to mention that most of this was the salary for her ‘assistant’ Peter Dowling. Oh…and the fact he was her Rumpy-Pumpy partner also slipped the Member’s mind.

But cry not for her, because she is off to the land of Rompuy-Pompuy. It seems the only thing able to rekindle the excitement of New Labour mobile wars is life with a Belgian shepherd.

Had she left the Party for a Belgian chocolate, I’d have understood it. But a Belgian shepherd? I wonder what happened to Mr Dowling.