1. An Indonesian Tsunami girl presumed dead has turned up alive after seven years.
2. The Scots want independence from the English.
3. Only 1.4% of all working age households contain no one who has ever worked.
4. Around 25,000 low-income homes in the Philippines have been lit up after the launch of a scheme to fit sunlight-powered “bulbs” made from old plastic bottles.
5. David Cameron today pledged Britain would never surrender sovereignty of the Falklands against the wishes of the islanders.
6. Russia’s wealthiest are bracing themselves for increased political uncertainty as Moscow prepares for a second wave of mass protests this weekend against Vladimir Putin’s rule.
7. Santander Bank is facing a backlash in Spain from customers saddled with big losses on bonds it sold to fund a landmark takeover.
8. “War Horse” is shot the old-fashioned way, on actual film stock (the cinematographer is Mr. Spielberg’s frequent collaborator Janusz Kaminski). The picture has a dark, velvety luster capable of imparting a measure of movie-palace magic.
9. Caseworkers in West-Central Illinois and Northeast Missouri will once more be formulating a list of in-need families. The aid comes through a coordinated effort involving community donations of goods and cash and a small army of volunteers who make sure the families in question – on both sides of the Mississippi River – will have a merrier Christmas than originally expected.
10. In 2007, 44% of Britons said they’d be prepared to drive after drinking. In 2011, 29% did.
It would be nice if Tsunamis didn’t happen, the Scots were self-sufficient and didn’t hate us, everyone wanted to work, all electric lighting was free, the Argies could just shut the f**k up about the Falklands, the Russians could at last enjoy a level playing field, banks were straight, all movies had ideas in them rather than just pyrotechnics, everyone could be happy not just at Christmas but all year round, and 3 out of 10 idiots didn’t imagine they could drive perfectly well while sh*tfaced.
But the story of the human race is one of imperfection. And this same imperfection makes silly-billy humans want to help those falling behind. The thing we need to wish for at Christmas is that other Harmanite folks and associate members of the Ed Miller Band who wish all people to be perfect should stop hoping for that, because it is never going to happen.
However, at the same time we should also respectfully ask our betters in Camerlot to desist from worshipping craven images such as neocon economic bollocks, the EU, investment bankers, Bourses as the only way to raise money for capitalism, the Special Relationship, elected police chiefs, and the Leg Up.