Lassoing the ether called David Cameron is impossible. But he will hang himself in the end.

Dave is still dodging, but Boris is coming. Be very afraid.

Brussels-am-Berlin is telling him he can’t have what he wants. Boris Johnson has told Davos his government’s austerity policy is a crock. The IMF says the same thing. As predicted here, last Friday’s ONS economic ‘growth’ figures showed Q3 to be a blip before a triple-dip. The Barclay brothers are now seriously on his case: this morning alone in the Daily Sarkograph, the omnipresent Bojo calls any refusal to hold an EU referendum ‘undemocratic cowardice’, there is talk of a business backlash against Camerlot attacks on corporate tax avoidance, Grant ‘Identity Crisis’ Shapps is already talking about leaving the EU once Cameron’s renegotiation fails, and there’s a feature on the ‘four mavericks’ who would replace Dave once he has fallen from his two-headed horse.

Other omens are ominous, ominous being what omens usually are: he has fallen foul of the Newscorp hydra, the shady old Tories behind Jeremy Hunt are working hard at his demise, Michael Gove already has one foot in the lifeboat, and across the length and breadth of southern England Conservative MPs are queuing up to make way for a return to the Commons by the Mussolini Man in London’s Town Hall. The liberal press can’t stand Cameron, and the latest ‘post-speech’ opinion polls show no appreciable impact on voting intentions: depending on who you believe, the Tories are still 6-9% behind Labour, and the success of the Coalition can be measured by the Liberal Democrats continuing to languish at around 11%.

Holy wagon trains Camerman, looks like we’re surrounded.

The thing about Dave’s speech is that nobody now can remember WTF he said. And this is the way with our Prime Minister: his mind and his mouth move in obfuscating ways. In the current climate, I think I’d advise that this is both a weakness and a mortal illness. I am unable to discern any strengths.

The heads-up is this: we’re going to have a renegotiation in which the other side won’t be listening, then an election, then a referendum about whether we leave or stay in the EU two years after an election Mr Cameron may well lose. It’s that straightforward – as straightforward, in fact, as his recreational habits, his relationship with senior Newscorp executives, the influence of  Jeremy Hunt and George Osborne on his actions, and what he really thinks about the gathering paedophile storm down in Barnes.

Over that same period, it is very likely bordering on almost certain that the world will fall into a deep economic depression….with or without the collapse of large parts of its banking system, the dangerous inflation of at least one sovereign currency, and the default of perhaps three major Western States.

The sloppy lightweights who surround this ethereal man are no doubt arguing that will o’ the wisp is the only way to be under such conditions, but they could not be more wrong. The only way to be is searingly direct and frank, for one simple reason: the worse things get, the more the man with myriad answers but no solutions will be seen as a brief interregnum rather than a national crisis leader who can pull us through. Cameron talks a great deal about Churchill – and come to think of it, except for their differences on guts, principles, vision, diplomacy and statesmanship, they’re really quite similar. Foot off irony pedal, proceed to next paragraph.

The advantage would swing to Labour, were it not for the fact that its leader is no leader either, and has been outflankedon Europe (for the time being) by Cameron’s yes-no-possibly-definitely-unshakeably-wobbly speech last week. The real coming man at the minute is Boris Johnson. This is, I’m sad to say, what I most dread short of Harriet Harman succeeding to the Throne.

Stay tuned.

Earlier at The Slog: Davos drivel decoded

57 thoughts on “Lassoing the ether called David Cameron is impossible. But he will hang himself in the end.

  1. David Cameron has wilfully covered up for the paedophiles and murderers. I don’t know why he has done this, he doesn’t seem to be one of them as far as I can see. Perhaps he feels trapped by them because of other stuff on his concience. But what could be worse than raping and murdering children and whistleblowers? I can’t understand why Cameron doesn’t seem to understand that.

    At any rate, I am also very worried about the next one to move into 10 Downing Street. There’s even worse ones (believe it or not) than Harriet Harm man, much much worse.

    • Because he is bought and paid for by those with a vested interest in keeping the focus away from their perverted place Men and Women (think Ted Heath and Harriet Harman…..then again don’t it will be better for your sleep).
      You don’t get to that level of power without a few peccadillo’s (and the footage to prove it) or a Gentleman’s agreement to stay schtum.

    • kfc
      Cnuts?…whatever can you mean? :-)
      ps. By all means see the film. Its over long but an enjoyable romp. And with the frequent use of the word `nigger` I derived extra pleasure in knowing how much the PC crowd must be seething….but that`s just me.
      As a working class lad I rapidly formed the opinion that offense is in the way a word is said….not the word itself.

      • An enjoyable romp? The black actor who plays Django recently said on “Saturday Night Live”: “In my new movie, I play a slave. How black is that? I have to wear chains. How whack is that? I get free. I save my wife, and I kill all the white people in the movie. How great is that? And how black is that?”

        Meanwhile, here’s a few comments from black audience members:
        “While whites are busy getting offended on our behalf, they miss completely why we are going to see this film. It’s a bIack man kiIIings white people in masses. I will pay to see that every time.”

        Or how about: “Still hype off Django. I’m gonna kill some white people today.”

        Still think it’s an “enjoyable romp”? Fact is, “Django Unchained” is sick crap fuelling an already entrenched and dangerous sense of victim-hood in a demographic known to commit disproportionate levels of violent crime, including racially-motivated attacks.

  2. The leadership, economics and geopolitics of this time appear awfully analogous to that of the 1930’s.

    “History does not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.”

  3. The basic problem here is that Britain (and indeed every other major power in the EU zone) is so hemmed in by regulations and bullshit rules that they cannot stage any form of recovery. Economic recoveries are primarily driven by small businesses forming and expanding on a small scale; lots and lots of small businesses add up to an enormous hill of beans.

    If you think logically, we ought to be in a bonanza time for small business right now. Banks are paying bugger all interest on cash, and there is indeed huge amounts of cash floating about with nowhere much to go. All it takes is an enterprising investment banker to lend money to a large cluster of businesses, and sell stocks in an investment vehicle which is an amalgam of all these companies; some will fail but most won’t. Returns ought to be really rather good, what with the pre-conditions being so favourable.

    The problem is, there are two things blighting conditions for small business. The minor one is government, trying to leech ever-more tax money from a decreasing pool of viable targets. The major one is the EU government, but not as you’d think. The EU is corrupt, inefficient, wilful, stupid and led by a dastardly oligarchy of failed local politicians but they aren’t the real cause of the problem. No, the major problem is all the little buggers, busily thinking up and forcing through reams upon reams of petty, restrictive regulations.

    This is the real economic growth killer: huge volumes of pettifogging, stultifying regulation which serves only to lock small businesses out of the market leaving it open to a near-monopolistic gaggle of big players. They suffer from the regulation too, but as pests like cotton boll weevil have adapted to and now require pesticide spraying to kill off their predators and competition, so big business is now so co-evolved with EU regulation that they actually require it now.

    The cure is simple: get rid of the cloud of regulations. Set up a constitution which explicitly limits the ability of a parliament to pass laws and regulations, and which explicitly limits secondary legislation (even add a clause to enable bills to be delayed if they are not thoroughly debated). You don’t even need to leave the EU to achieve this (though expulsion would rapidly follow such a deployment), but you do need to do it.

    That, or you make laws and regulations easily machine parsable so that we can simply use computer expert systems to replace lawyers (and wouldn’t that be a coup?)

    • That was such a well-constructed reply, that for a second I thought I was still reading JW’s blogpost! Thanks, Dr DanH. Agreed with every word, but unfortunately, it is unlikely to happen.

    • Great comment, but I would add that it should be incentivised for government to reduce the number, length and complexity of all regulations and law.

    • We are not in a good time for any business unless your market is the wealthy few military or government contracts, red tape free borrowing no tax paying makes no difference your market share is dwindling at a greater rate than that of peoples income,

    • “This is the real economic growth killer: huge volumes of pettifogging, stultifying regulation which serves only to lock small businesses out of the market leaving it open to a near-monopolistic gaggle of big players. They suffer from the regulation too, but as pests like cotton boll weevil have adapted to and now require pesticide spraying to kill off their predators and competition, so big business is now so co-evolved with EU regulation that they actually require it now.”

      The CEO of a very large oil company put it to me in a slightly different way: “We need to be seen by the market to be growing our revenues at at least the same rate as the economy. If small businesses grow faster than we do, our share price suffers. Our response to that is to ensure they are chained hand and foot by regulation like we are.”

  4. I had the name Nick Bowles given as the ‘coming man’ with reference to Cameron’s eventual replacement. Mr Bowles was introduced to the great and the not-so-good at this years Bilderberg meeting, perhaps in preparation for his future role?

  5. The Cameron / Johnson relationship reminds me of an old Mad magazine skit:
    (The Lone Ranger) “We’re surrounded by Indians, Tonto”
    (Tont0) “WE, paleface?”

  6. When a Tory Party chairman starts to talk about the UK leaving the EU you know that things are changing. Schapps has drawn the only conclusion from Cameron’s speech. If you don’t get the concessions from the EU then you have to leave. As we are unlikely to get any concessions then this leaves the Conservatives with the option of more Europe or no Europe.

    • heres why, when i first came to live in ireland i had a picture in my mind of the fighting irish, outgoing, boisterous, resilient people. its not true. the average is subservient, obedient and very accepting of the status quo. some of the mps have to be seen to be believed. absolutely corrupt . and they get voted back into power over and over again. they just will not stand up for themselves, i find it astonishing. the eu top brass were here in dublin very recently. not a single demo, not a single protest. i cannot figure it out. northern ireland by the way is the complete opposite. you absolutely do not mess with those people. also the friendliest most welcoming you could wish for. belfast is fantastic!

  7. As I have posted many times on the Tellytubbygraph over the last few years, if you are serious about solving your economic problems then you shoul invite the Germans to run your economy. You can hate Hermann and Barroso as much as you like but they both had proven track records of solving problems. Who do you have? Golden Brown?

    • If our lot planned it, we’d end up with the Germans running the comedy clubs, the Italians running the army, the Greeks running the banks and the British running the restaurants.

  8. What is the mater with the ‘man’ and his ‘politics’? The UK has the third recession and he hold a in/out referendum NOW knowing the outcome..It would save billion of pounds which surely helps the economy. Furthermore, the new treaty, I am sure he will sign, will be for another seven year so I understand. It is not only the contribution to the EU but it also cost the country to keep all the foreign criminals on benefit which the EU forbids to expel and the enormous amount of money of Legal Aid for them to fight their case. Stopping business’s trade with their crazy rules. Forcing more immigrants into the country who only can exists on benefit because of the unemployment already existing. Tonnes of food being wasted because of not being the required uniformed size and dead fish thrown overboard because the catch is over the quote. It feels like being in a loony bin. Now the latest Brussels is planning and will succeed to curb the Free Press and any journalist will be fined heavily. It will be no difference to communism. Another point to make your blood boil is UK will be fined £250,000 a day if it doesn’t comply with previous rules. Yet, Cameron still thinks about it whether to opt out of the EU.

    • There is no triple dip recession this is a load of old bollocks that the politicians keep spouting. We are in an economic depression and it started under the last Labour Government and is partially the legacy of our former miracle Chancellor Gordon Brown. Since then we have been continually borrowing and quantitatively easing in the hope that it all goes away and some miracle comes along to save us. Sadly it hasn’t and we are no further forward then we were in 2008 but the debt is getting bigger and bigger and completely unmanageable. As for Europe Cameron being a fully paid up Bilderburger has no serious intention of leaving the EU. He’s playing to the home crowd (with an eye on the 2015 election) and hoping to get a better negotiating position. When push comes to shove he will drop to his knees on command and kiss Mr Van Rompoys ring.

    • Excellent comment. And talking of legal aid, why are criminals and asylum seekers continuing to get it when the sick and disabled are not?

  9. Do you remember the old joke about the Irishman surviving shipwreck and being washed up on a desert island? He said to one of the few natives “Is there a government here? If so, I am against it”!
    Yet they have accepted EU rule without a murmur.

  10. You would think that one of Dave’s spin doctors would be savvy enough to tell Dave that the unfolding crisis demands that a man should cometh forward for the hour. Even if the City and Westminster can’t see this economic tsunami coming our way, there are surely enough objective and common sense people who can -not just on this blog.
    Davey boy, if you are listening, now is the time for strong leadership, strangely enough the people don’t even demand the right guy for the problem, just someone dynamic and decisive *. So if you want to be that guy, start throwing your weight about. If you don’t run along now, you are in the way.
    Telling us a referendum might happen once you are gone is not the message. How come you can’t see things are so bad in the EUnion that we can’t wait 5 years. What on earth makes you think there is no urgency?

    * that’s why Boris hasn’t been laughed off the stage, cos he sounds like someone who believes what his mouth says.

      • If Cameron was truly serious about leaving the EU he would dump the useless Liberals and call an immediate General Election with a view to getting a majority and putting the issue in a referendum to the people.
        He isn’t and he wont.

  11. Pingback: CAMERON DOOMED (2): the lies and pernicious Times of Rupert Murdoch. | The Slog. 3-D bollocks deconstruction

    • Sooner or later the truth about the economic performance of the UK versus the rest of Europe as dominated by Germany will dawn on foreign bond buyers. It can’t be long now that the hysteria surrounding the Euro has softened for the time being. Watch interest rates creep up as our ratings slump. The next 20 years are going to be interesting.

  12. Five year phase-in plan for “EuroEnglish”

    The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby
    English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which
    was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s
    government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and
    has accepted a five year phase in plan that would be known as “EuroEnglish”.

    In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will
    make the sivil servants jump for joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour
    of the “k”. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less
    letter.

    There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
    troublesome “ph” will be replaced with the “f”. This will make words like
    “fotograf” 20% shorter.

    In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
    expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
    Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always
    ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of
    the silent “e”s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

    By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th”
    with “z” and “w” with “v”.

    During ze fifz year, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords
    kontaining “ou” and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
    kombinations of leters. After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a realy sensibl
    riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it
    ezi to understand each ozer

    ZE DREAM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!

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