Bollocks: the triumph of the objectionable over the objective

In Greece, the US and South Africa, the gargoyles are running the Communion Service.

* The Greek government is scoping out a plan to tax citizens who turned in their license plates because they couldn’t afford to keep a car. The ‘logic’ here is that they are evading tax by not paying the licence any more, and technically yes, the conclusion is sound: more and more Greeks are also driving without insurance because they can’t afford that either. What we need here, however, is some sort of viability analysis probing the likelihood of somebody paying a tax designed to penalise them for not having any money to pay a tax. Tell you what – let’s stand McKinsey down and conclude ‘zero’.

* Dan Hannan is rapidly becoming a parody of himself. He’s at the GOP convention (who’s paying for this MEP to be there, we ask ourselves?) and a few hours ago tweeted thuswise: ‘So Mitt is a good businessman, compassionate employer, selfless friend, decent churchman. But was he ever a community organiser? Eh, eh?’

There is something about Dan that seems to suggest short trousers, but for the record, here, from July 27th last, is the Slog’s properly balanced choice-audit between Opeless Obama and Rapacious Romney. It sort of gives the lie to compassionate employer and decent churchman. It is called Butterfingers v Sticky Fingers and it represents the triumph of objective over the objectionable.

* ‘The 270 miners arrested over this month’s violent strikes in South Africa have been charged with the murder of their 34 colleagues who were shot dead by police’, reports the Daily Telegraph. The Zuma regime’s rationale for this surreal police decision is a piece of “common purpose” legislation much favoured by apartheid governments from Verwoerd to Botha. It “places responsibility for any fatal confrontation with armed police on whoever challenges them” confirmed Frank Lesenyego, spokesman for South Africa’s National Prosecuting Authority, without breaking into a maniacal giggle.

Earlier this week Police Commissioner Riah Phiyega confirmed that the 34 murdered miners died after police shot them down at the mine owned by Lonmin. But the executioners are innocent because agitators asking for a living wage made the murders inevitableburble booble bumble bingle argle oogle pop.

On March 3rd 2010, The Slog posted that ‘Jacob Zuma is a corrupt, womanising, controlling and ruthless ANC hardliner. To those of us old enough to have marched against first Smith in Rhodesia and then the Botha dynasty in South Africa, he is a walking betrayal of our support.’ Jacob has now begun the task of proving me more right than even I knew I was.

That last sentence is, I hope, in keeping with the surreality of today’s opening burst of bollocks.

29 thoughts on “Bollocks: the triumph of the objectionable over the objective

    • Everytime I see the term “investor” I cry a little inside as the english language gets bastardised.

      Very little of the money is actually invested, i.e. used to improve productivity / develop new products. The gains are simply based on some greater fool theory where you can flip the shares later to some bigger mug.

      All based on rumours and actions of whoever is in charge of the printing press :(

      The quote should say:

      (TOKYO (Reueters) – Asian shares fell to four-week lows on Friday as SPECULATORS cooled expectations)

  1. This burst of bollocks sounds like the funny pages in Private Eye, you know a bit of political whimsy and humour.

    When reality overtakes satire it isn’t funny anymore.

  2. Watching RT and they are reporting that Germany is still accepting DM and with the Euro struggling more and more Germans are using them, even the phone boxes still accept pfennigs.

  3. Interesting comment about “Common Purpose” and its use in South Africa. I think that it’s used here too. Especially good against rioters, or those that might just be walking by.

  4. Another daft Greek tax idea to tax the untaxable, probably destined to go the same way as the House Tax on Power Bills fiasco. I wonder if they will end up with hundreds or thousands of Greek cars parked up on the streets with no licence plates as a gift to the criminal elements, or attempt to recover them to car pounds spending much more than they can possibly raise in revenue?

      • Add some insurance as well, so we all have to contribute to its ever rising cost. If these are driven (sorry) as we are told, by those who have no insurance! Imagine the squeals from the insurance industry!

    • It may be daft but don’t laugh something like it is coming here. The Treasury is alarmed that fuel tax revenues are not and will not grow as expected because cars are becoming so efficient – which one arm of the govt wants for climate change purposes. As a result they are planning to increase fuel duty further to make up for the losses due to better car performance. Monty Python couldn’t do better!

  5. Pingback: John Ward – Bollocks : The Triumph Of The Objectionable Over The Objective – 31 August 2012 | Lucas 2012 Infos

  6. I have recently been doing some empirical work involving stones and heavy pressure. Imagine my amazement when, after a particularly determined squeeze, I detected the presence of blood! This elation was short lived however, as I realised that the blood was actually emanating from my own fingers..

  7. Haha! Obama is asking Congress to agree to spend $728bn more on the military next year when the debt ceiling is approaching $16tn….and do you know what? Because the US’s influence in world affairs is in decline, they will probably go for it.
    If you ain’t with us, you must be against us…

    • @SITC; Yes, I read something similar elsewhere a couple of days ago. The crux is in the ‘no longer need to segregate funds’ change, I believe that will allow the banks to gamble even harder with other peoples money.

  8. On the mining protest murder charges – While one can never be sure for how much longer, for now at least we have a judiciary sensible enough to provide the giggle if the state tries something so ridiculous in court.

  9. So succinctly put oh wise one but is this not beyond bollocks? but clearly the tortured convulsions of the globalised infection of some form of demented fantasy world these truly stupid people make us live in. (Foolish knaves they are not but idiots and simpletons).

    You know I always thought ‘Alice in Wonderland’ was fiction for children, little did I realise that it would prove to be so precient. Still this type of terminal social and political madness can only end badly for all of us, unless, unless, now what did the good Queen say, ah yes, ‘Off with their heads’, now there is an idea worth contemplating.

  10. After what has been basically a laughable non-week as far as any economic or cultural progress goes, now we’re off to Jackson (corn)Hole today: for Bernanke to tell everyone nothing at all. But hey it’s all good for a ramp in asset prices for a few hours.

    So for my usual Friday message to the CIA/FBI/MI6 spook assigned to spy on the salacious contents of this message board:

    First I need to get his/her attention by tweaking their search algorithm for certain keywords…. OBAMA, ANUS, TNT.

    Ok mr spook, now I have your focus. You’re a total dickhead and your job is meaningless. You’ll never catch an actual terrorist or do anything positive to contribute towards a better culture and society. You’ll die in your bed, old and riddled with syphilis, as a total waste of blood & skin.

    As always, I hope your next shit is a hedgehog. ;)

  11. In 20+ years of nerdish (and briefly even paid) interest in party politics, I have never known as dishonest and plain untruthful a campaign as Mitt Romneys latest run for President.

    It marks a new low in global politics. Before he came along, the most dishonest campaigning politico was a photo-finish between Silvio Berlusconi and Binyamin Netanyahu, Francois Mitterand picking up bronze inches ahead of Jaque Chirac.
    Romney blows them out of the water. His entire campaign is built around a series of factually incorrect claims about his opponent. He’s been getting away with it because of the “both sides are equally to blame” fallacy which permeates the US media.

    The guys not just an awful flip-flopper. He really is the MOST appalling liar.

    • @Paul.J; He sounds perfect for the position, after all is there one politician who has been truthful with the electorate? No. Never in the history of politics.

      • Um, Paul, sorry fella I have some bad news for you:

        The Oven Glove is a turd alright, but what makes you think that Obama is any different? Is it his wonderful way with the Teleprompter? Or perhaps his nice haircut? Or maybe is his candidacy that’s based on the novelty of the colour of his skin and not the vacuous nature of his policies or moral compass?

        For gods sake man grow up and look with the eyes you were given. They are both just 2 sides of the same shit covered coin. A busted flush that seeks to maintain power without legitimacy.

        “Choice” and elections have nothing to do with one another. Understand that and you’ll have a better grip on the whole picture.

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