The answer to Britain’s problems: redecorate

Humiliated Hague, G4S investigating Iraq soldiers, and a £3billion project to upgrade Westminster

William Hague – the man with a reputed IQ of 144, and the wisdom of a barnacle – has (as predicted here) been forced to grovel in reverse from his ridiculously bombastic position on exhibitionist megalomaniac Julian Assange. (Now there’s a terrifying mental image)

Britain yesterday withdrew its gung-ho SAS style threat to enter Ecuador’s embassy in London to arrest WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange.

His diplomatic gloating almost audible, President Rafael Correa issued a statement on Saturday, saying “We consider this unfortunate incident over, after a grave diplomatic error by the British in which they said they would enter our embassy.”  This followed the receipt by Ecuador’s government of “a communication from the British Foreign Office which said that there was no threat to enter the embassy.”

On Day 2 at the Foreign Office in 2010, Hague got on a plane to Washington. His head has been up Washington’s backside – and all its US hegemony operations – ever since. Once again he has done their bidding. Once again he has come out looking like a clown.

But on Day 3 at the Foreign Office, Hague approved a massive renovation budget for the FCO offices. When it was completed, he wrote a piece about how the Foreign Office had been “restored to its former glory”. Shame about the idiots who work there.

Staying with the Defence of the Realm, it seems the Government is persevering with two controversial inquiries to run for up to another three years, with the total cost expected to exceed £100 million. Despite several years in search of war criminals among the UK’s armed foreces, the sum total of three enquiries to date haven’t bagged a single conviction of any British soldier.

But who’s doing the investigating for the next round of Hunt the Hobgoblin? Why, none other than those Olympian non-deliverables, G4S.

In 2007, the MoD chaps – who failed to give Iraq forces helicopters, jeep ID signal software, mobile phones or any accommodation beyond decrepit prefabs – built themselves a brand spanking new HQ. It cost £2.3 billion, and was slipped under the radar via the private finance initiative. Since the ‘cuts’ began, they’ve fired a lot of those long-suffering squaddies….but, despite three personal visits by Draper Osborne himself, have yet to dispense with the services of any of their own kind. As such.

G4S, eh? Who do G4S know that not only gets them out of scrapes (paid in full) but also plonks multi-million Pound new contracts their way? How was the bidding process handled for the Olympics security and this new nine-digit pointless investigation into ethereal wrongdoing that exists only in the empty head of Piers Morgan? Could that great manipulator of quangos he affects to hate Jeremy Hunt be in any way involved, do we think?

We do not know (yet) but one thing we should be fair about: we do definitely need some new blood when it comes to security.

This was brutally confirmed last Friday as some dopey Plod walked onto the set of the Assange siege, grasping the entire Assange battle plan on her huge clipboard. This was promptly snapped by a PA photographer. The notes said that the maverick Australian should be taken ‘even if he emerges in a vehicle, under diplomatic immunity or in a diplomatic bag, which may involve “risk to life”’.

My God, that must’ve been a blistering phone call from Hillary….ironically, it was probably overheard by the folks at Wikileaks.

But as their reward for rehiring security onanists, electing police chiefs to solve the problem of having no police, and making fools of themselves in diplomatic and defence circles, our legislators are to be given a massive vote of Treasury confidence: yes, the Houses of Parliament may well have to close for up to five years under plans for a £3 billion refurbishment.

Here it comes again…but it bears repetition until somebody wakes up: that is circa 22% of the total savings made to date by George Osborne’s great austerity drive.

Clearly, decorating is the new action. Wallpaper over a police chief. Paint a portbound aircraft carrier. Strip a Royal Prince. Whitewash a press standards enquiry. Skim over that Whitehall pensions scandal.

On the other hand, we could condemn the entire edifice and move in with bulldozers.

What do we all think, hmm?

85 thoughts on “The answer to Britain’s problems: redecorate

  1. I’d love to see the cost/benefit analysis for a £3 billion refurbishment of Parliament – probably concocted by the same ‘flexible’ accountants who did the same analysis for HS2.

    Here’s an alternative to evaluate. Abandon Westminster, move Parliament to Bradford. No need for that £3bn refurb or that £50bn train-set. I’d really love to see the cost-benefit analysis for that, but they won’t dare do the sums.

  2. This not a Government that discusses- there are no big conversations , no wheedling and persuasions , just nothing-

    I really do hate this Westminster bunch of spit and dribble shouting bad tempered people. They all stand up and declare- and make pronouncements that we have all grown rather weary and deaf eared to. .
    We need a change , any change , but a radical change!

  3. Hague should be sacked/resign in favour of Donald Duck.
    The bulldozers sound good, I wonder if I could swing the wrecking ball?

    • @Mo
      Has Donald Duck really done something so awful that he should be made to join the current bunch of n’er do wells with whom Billy Vague is more than happy to associate himself.
      The naughty step for Donald should be more than sufficient punishment for poor Donalds misdemeaners (whatever they may be) surely ? :)

  4. Never mind………it has come to my notice (via a mate who is one) that many areas of the civil service are having a much harder time of it these days………in order to save money these people are being ‘forced’……..

    ….to use cheaper (lower quality) paper in their printers……………….Of course this well planned saving of costs to the taxpayer is so well thought out (by some highly paid executive ‘team’ no doubt) that the ‘new’ paper jams regularly and so reprints ad nauseum are probably making this ‘saving’ an irrelevance………….or more likely a cost hike (considering the number of meetings and the putting together of a team to discuss and solve the problem)………but we’ll never know will we ?

    Anyone know if ‘our jerry’ has a paper supply company ?

    • This is true, as an (un) civil servant I can confirm every word of Morningstars post.

      Not only that but equipment like photocopiers are not being replaced when they reach the end of their life, thus leading to more callouts for engineers to service them, thus increasing our costs…

      Whichever genius thought of this idea should be taken out and shot.

      In addition.

      Our new chief executive has spent £7k on a gold plated diamond encrusted laptop for his personal use, part of the reason it is so expensive, is that being new it cannot access the portal the old software we use has, so it has had to have lots of work done on it, to enable to do so, some of which breached all the security protocols we have in place.

      Oh and he is also spending £20k on a new offfice suite for himself…

      So thats £27k on one individual!

      Quite why he cannot travel into the office to work, instead of being sat at home is beyond me, as it is what most of the rest of us have to do.

      All of this at the same time as we are losing money, and cutting costs and staff, it’s enough to make a strong man weep…

    • annotatio to that… The savings don’t stop there Oh No… not allowed to use colour ink in printers and 5 sections in an open plan office share a(20people x1) copier. NOT EFFICIENT at all, people stand in a queue eagerly awaiting their turn. and but ahhhhhhhhh that does not stop the Fking idiocy of Managers spending a firtune of NEW UP TO DATE COLOUR LOGO’S ‘FIT FOR THE SERVICE’ staff are told! eh eh bet you think I am joking but no………….AND further more: managers complaining to admin staff for …not using the ‘colour logo’! Oh the emails were a flying in one dept. STILL a wee bit of work for the designers and out side printers. and all the recycle global warming clap trap they tax us on.. wellllllllllllllllllll No recycling or buying parts in the NHS No.. no… no ALL IT equiptment has to be purchased including VAT.. THIS stuff makes my eyes bleed.good new is those who are in charge of these contracts ( idiots with degrees!) can now be prosecuted if seen to be ermm how can I put this ‘getiing back handers’ or ‘bribes’. This information is from a knowledgable source!

  5. Mr *unt and G4S !? , that sounds like an interesting partnership.

    I’m still wondering about the figures concerning G4S’ appointment for the security at the games, £284 million. £57 million of that was a ‘management fee’ which leaves £227 million to cover the cost of the contract on the ground, how can anyone justify that amount of money to supply 10,400 poorly trained amateur security guards for two weeks work?

    Someone must have been working this scam from the inside, who was writing the cheques?

    I see that PwC have been employed to ‘investigate’ where this contract went wrong, they are due to report in September, I wonder if this will be enough time to bury the truth about the figures deep enough.(I also wonder if it’s the same people writing the cheques for the services of PwC)

    • I wondered about that one too, at the time
      More to the point will G4S be held accountable for the cost of the army completing their job for them, plus all the additional organision, plus the cost of the bad rep to UK that it all caused?
      My guess is that their contract was never watertight enough to hold them liable ………..if it were, then G4S might have tried a bit ha\rder to perform before waving the white flag……….thanks to sloppy management of the organisers……….sorry I dont have any proof………but there again why would I ever be able to get any?

    • @Oldsmoothie
      No doubt there will be an ‘Internal Investigation’ into G4S, as there was with the A4E multi-million pound scam. The same conclusions will be drawn. Zilch, Nada, move along, nothing to see here. Collusion and extortion of the highest order whilst these lickspittle excuses for politicians thumb their noses at us with feeble excuses, knowing that nobody will be held to account. It has become the accepted norm of governance. The only requirement for a Secretary of State these days is a brass neck.

      • Well said Liz. One despairs. The accepted norm of governance is non-governance. Except where taxation of hoi polloi is concerned.

  6. Hague as Mr Ferdinand Barnacle of the Circumlocution Office?
    Life`s a bitch….probably safer to say Washington was up HIS backside.

  7. Hague has followed the same path as Tony B.Liar and sold his soul to the Military Industrial Banking Complex which controls and runs the USA.

    When he leaves politics there will be a nice Bankster job lined up for for him with the likes of J.P.Morgue or Goldman Squid… just like Tony B.Liar.

  8. If the houses of parliament close for a refurb, will the commons and lords have to move to new digs?

    If so, I suggest they set up shop in a public toilet on Oxford Street. It would be more in keeping with their method of conduct and overall image.

      • @Allan. Olympic village absolutely. As you sow so shall you reap.

        And, renovations completed, overnight there in future to reduce their expenses.

      • My thoughts on the Olympic village is that the ‘apartments’ could be used for MP’s who have to stay overnight and thus remove the need for them to have second homes.
        An ongoing cost to the taxpayer of…..a caretaker (and with great reluctance maybe a security guard)…….I wonder whether any of our MP’s will suggest this cost saving measure ?
        Could we all write to our MP’s making the suggestion if only to imagine them coughing up their coffee into their cornflakes :)

      • @morningstar Exactly. For many of them it should feel quite like schooldays.

        A good idea- I will put this to my MP. Though he gets a lot of earbashing from me already.

  9. You could rebuild the place twice for that amount!
    How do they expect anyone to take cost cutting and saving seriously when they pull stunts like this……..

    • Corruption, corruption, corruption…..why do they want a ridiculously expensive HS train line…..why can’t they get a grip on the Ministry of Defence….why do they promote wind turbines….George Osborne’s family do wall paper so I suppose that is what the refurb of Parliament is about. Why do people point fingers at the Greeks? It is the same everywhere.

  10. JW – Let’s try to take a hard, logical look at the Assange situation.

    Do I think I would like Julian A as a chum? No, but that doubtless applies to many remarkable people whose achievements I admire, and to sloggers whose comments I applaud. And it’s irrelevant.

    Was he an ill-advised idiot for holing himself up in Hans Cresc.? Yes.
    Should he face the music in Sweden? On balance, I think so, Am I sure? No I am not. Unfortunately for him, it is only by going to Sweden and allowing examination and cross examination of events that he will be able to prove his conspiracist point about events in Sweden in 2010, after he enjoyed too much sexual hospitality,

    A look at the timeline suggests he may not be wrong in claiming the Swedish rape accusations are a set-up. Were his two Swedish partners a honey-trap? Probably not. But did each feel personally betrayed by Assange? Probably.

    Did this (and Assange’s failure to comply with the reasonable request he undergo an HIV test) make it easier for secret services to manipulate them politically? Yes, I think so. Do I think secret services able and willing to trap the wikileaker by any means fair or foul? The diplomatic traffic that Bradley Manning exposed make any other conclusion seem naive (not to mention what we now know about dodgy dossiers, David Kelly and Valerie Plame).
    Any lingering faith I might have had in the UK government playing by the rules and resisting Assange’s possible extradition to the US (whether from Sweden or the UK) has evaporated. The diplomatic buffoonery of Hague – the intelligent barnacle that clings to Clinton’s bottom – has seen to that.

    What should Assange do now? Seek funds to get a good PI and lawyers in Sweden before volunteering to go there. Does he have the logical nous to see that as his best exit? Yes. Does he have the mental calm to use that nous?????

    • Why does it require Assange to have to go to Sweden if it is just for questioning? Surely the relevant people could come to London and interview him here? Or am I missing something?

      DavidC

      • You are missing something ! You say why does he have to go to ‘Sweden if it is just for questioning’, but it isn’t. Under the Swedish Legal system, which is different to ours as most continental systems are, he needs to be questioned before he is charged and brought to trial. This was explained by the persecutor to the High Court last year – it is in the judgement given on 2/11/2011.

        Further the UK does not recognise ‘diplomatic asylum’ and nor does most of the rest of the world, and for good reason. To recognise this would mean that anyone accused of any offence would leg it to the nearest embassy and claim asylum, thus making a nonsense of every legal system. Ecuador should not have granted him asylum and are abusing their diplomatic premises and our hospitality to do so.

      • @andy

        It is political asylum you are talking about and with it diplomatic immunity.
        what has to be remembered is that he was questioned in Sweden and had specific permission to leave the country from the Swedish prosecutor before he came to the UK.

        Now I do not like the sound of the guy on a personal basis and would probably not choose to have a beer with him (though opening up to the world a lot of the secrecy is an asset for the worlds people to get good or at least better government) but there is no doubt in my mind that he is being stitched up in order to get him to the USA (and in general I am quite/very keen on having the USA as allies).

        The fact is you do not extradite or turn over someone to another country unless there is strong evidence against him which is likely to endanger other people. If is all about an HIV or STD test – send a doctor into the embassy and do the biz. He has agreed to be interviewed by the Swedish police (who have already interviewed him and released him without charge) in the Embassy.

        It is a sad day when Equador shows Britain the way of ‘fair play’ for which we used to be a shining example. It shows the ego trip of Billy Vague and the rest of the government to pretend to be ready to flaunt international law – when they won’t even deport known undesireables and convicted criminals. The propaganda being anti-assange in the MSM is certainly being used without the whole picture being explained – they are out to get him – and it is not paranioa that he is suffering from.

        In my most humble opinion :)

      • Morning Star,
        Sorry but you completely missunderstand the situation. I have posted a link on this thread to the judgement of the High Court of 2/11/2011. It explains in detail the matter. Assange appealed that judgement, on a point of Law, to the Supreme Court where he lost again.

        Further there is no request for his extradition from the United States, so that red herring does not arise. Nor can the Swedish authorities give an assurance not to extradite him to the USA because they have no request to do so and all such requests are judged on their merits and according to the law. Such extradition would require the agreement of the UK and I am sure Assange would play ducks & drakes with it in our courts.

        Ecuador has muddied the waters. They should not have granted him ‘political asylum’ and by doing so they have caused themselves problems. Most states do not recognise what they have done as ‘asylum’ for the reasons I gave. Assange cannot leave their embassy – which is actually a small flat – without being arrested. Incidentally the ‘embassy’ is not the whole building, merely the part of it owned by the Ecuador government. The ‘communal’ parts are UK territory. So Assange cannot get into the ambassadors car – he has to cross UK territory to do so – he cannot be smuggled out in a ‘diplomatic bag’ as that would not be regarded as diplomatic goods within the convention, so he has to sit there.

        All of which leads one to start and think that if he is so determined NOT to go to Sweden then maybe the allegations have more merit than many suppose.

    • Great post, I wholeheartedly agree with your sentiments. I would further ask why can’t those people who need to ‘question ‘ him, don’t come to the UK? is there a legal argument for that?

    • only if he gets a cast iron guarantee he will not be extradited to a third country – which, of course, he won’t get.

      • I cant understand why Mr Assange cant simply be extradited from the UK if that’s what the US wants. Legally he’s far safer in Sweden then he is in the patsy UK which has the most ridiculous one sided and soft extradition treaty ever written. What’s stopping the US simply commanding his immediate extradition and simply waiting for the grovelling subservient and quislings British Government to comply?

  11. Extravagances like refurbishing the HoP or parts of the Whitehall estate should be conditional on, say, having unemployment below one million.
    Only in the good times should they get to enjoy sumptuous surroundings at our expense.

    • They would simply fiddle to figures by changing the definition of “Unemployed”

      A new definition of being “Economically inactive” could be created. In order to be registered as officially “Unemployed” you would need to be officially registered as “Economically inactive” for a period of 10 years.

      The unemployment queue would drop substantially and the unemployment problem would be instantly solved.

      • @Mark

        I seem to remember other sloggers have indicated the US and Germany already have bases for registering ‘unemployment’ which are different to the UK and have a flavour of this. Possibly other countries too…

  12. 3bn and 5 years? What are they building- another nuclear bunker? Or some kind of fortification for when we all start buying rope?

    btw please do not insult barnacles

    • @aflatoxin – I think the main problem is that the clock tower (or QE Tower as I think its now being called) is starting to mimic the leaning Tower of Pizza as has taken on a a visibly noticeable very slight list. Lots of very expensive underpinning required by the look of it.

      Given that the rest of the Palace of Westminster is totally bent I think that the QE Tower going the same way is actually quite symbolic of the present state of Parliament. Maybe they should just leave it as it is it suits the place perfectly.

  13. O/T and not mine but, thought I would share it.
    From a ZH post today: ‘”If you’re rich you get a bailout. If you’re poor you get a handout. And if you’re middle class you get left out.”‘

    • @ kfy 1404

      Just found this on the alternative PI-News site – the main site is once again being subjected to a DDoS attack. It’s the blurb for a book scheduled to be published on the 17th of September:

      “Walter Wüllenweber – The Antisocials
      How the upper and under classes are ruining our country – and who benefits

      “How the upper and under classes live at the expense of the middle-classes

      German society is in a state of dissolution. At the bottom end there is a growing underclass about to take its departure from bourgeois values. At the same time, the upper class is also pulling back into their parallel world. The amazing thing is: at the opposite ends of society we can observe similar, sometimes identical, developments:

      – The value and moral beliefs of the upper and under classes are moving further and further away from those of the majority in society.
      – The upper and under classes sense barely any correlation between accomplishment and reward.
      – Trickery is more and more a way of life. The rich cheat in the tax office, the poor in the welfare office.
      – Upper and under classes live at the expense of the middle class.

      Powerful allies have an interest that nothing changes with these conditions: The financial industry makes the upper class rich. The social worker industry enables the life-styles of the under classes. In the banks, most of the capital is simply managed and shuffled around. The social worker industry employs the most staff. The state has long since capitulated against these forces.”

      So don’t ever get to thinking that only the Brits are subject to non-stop dry-bumming! ;-)

      Another interesting story on video, this time from Sweden: if I can find the time I’ll trancribe & translate. Meanwhile, the headlines –

      “I want my country back!
      Ingrid Carlqvist about the Swedish Multiculti-Nightmare”

      One of the many points mentioned – worldwide, only Lesotho, in southern Africa, has a higher incidence of rape per capita than Sweden does. I’ll give you one guess as to the perpetrators – it might also have something to do with Assange’s fear of going back to Sweden to answer questions about his activities.

      And in other news, the Wogs in Somalia have declared hyena meat to be halal. Bon Appetit!

      • @VJ
        Hanging on in quiet desperation was thought to be the English way. Interesting to read others are waking up.

        Oo er. Could this be a change in zeitgeist?

  14. Are we seriously asking if we shall be told the ‘truth’ about who signs contracts? Because even a freedom of information regular requests regarding local and foriegn contracts for local councils are denied, because they are hidden under ‘corporate confidentiality contracts’. this doe not stop one scandal after another. Millions paid out in advance FOR WORK NEVER CARRIED OUT… shocking and annyong, but nothing we can do about it… Proud to be Ugandan err sorry Brittish!

  15. I listened Michael Howard on R4 at lunchtime, I USED to regard him well, however I wonder whether all the old Tories /new Tories have had a series of mass hypnosis treatments for the past two years- ?

    Their mantra on the economy is boringly samey. They all chant the same slogans.

    • Howard has always been a complete and loathsome wanker! Something of the night about him and a total economic ignoramus.

    • @TB they have all run out of ideas…everyone has…even their puppetmasters

      Now they are just watching the sea withdraw further and further back…..

  16. £3,000,000,000.00 for a refit!!!! Let them build a new parliament( IF it is needed) for a lot less £’s(plain as a cheese sandwich and practical only) and have the HoP as a tourist attraction to bring in some extra £’s.
    How can they justify that level of spending(all borrowed) when our old folks (and many others) are struggling to make ends meet! (makes me feel ill).
    Put the MP’s in the Olympic stadium, so 80,000 of us can shout “shame on you”

      • @toxic
        …except in this neo-version the politicians will be in the “competing area” and the (financial) slaves will be in the stands: thumbs down!

  17. @Aflatoxin; I’m not convinced that those derivatives will come to the explosive end that some expect. It is such a destructive a thing to happen, were it to explode, that it would end the world as we know it, so, there would be some forgiveness I believe, if only to salvage something, as opposed to losing everything, which everybody surely would. It’s one of those ‘Too big to happen’ things.
    Well, that’s my take on it….

    • @kfc I hope you are right….I think….

      The question is what would be the cost and to whom. I think the 1% or whatever may find it harder to live in the manner to which they have become accustomed- and in fact expect- if it all went t**ts up.

      So forgiveness may be something they will be forced to contemplate. Though I cannot see us continuing with the standard of living we have now.

      For myself, I couldnt care, it’s helpless dependents one worries about.

      • @Aflatoxin; Indeed, indeed my friend, forgiveness is one thing they might just have to consider. Must terrify them! And yes, we have to consider all our dependents, I have 4 children, 3 of whom have offspring, I am preparing to feed them them all for a few months!

  18. Hague should face the sack for such a complete cockup – if there was any integrity left in Westministeu. I also note the complete silence on the matter from the opposition party. Some good news this weekend sees UKIP up to 12% in the latest poll and 2 points clear of the Lib dem eu party.

  19. JW — according to my records here you’ve reduced the man’s IQ nearly 20 points in the last month or however long it’s been since last mention. I’m wondering if this isn’t a new twist from your inimical sense of humour in which you tacitly ask your readership to do the obvious and simply extrapolate — linearly, assuming simplicity — reaching an IQ of 24 or so in by late August of next year. No? Had me going on with it though. Cute!

  20. I think that Scotland must leave this morally and visionary bankrupt union run by politicians and civil servants ( and that description is a laugh). Sorry England but the sad truth is you are going down the the plug-hole and I don’t want to be part of the disaster.

      • @RFE
        Do be so kind enough to identify the Scottish politicians and civil servants who are going to lead you to safety? That exodus being less than 24 hours after the Leader of the Scottish Roman Catholic Church castigated your would-be-latter-day-Moses (AKA Eric-the-fish) on the subject of seeking to impose, against the wishes of the majority of the electorate, new laws to permit same-sex marriage?

        Plus ca change, Ron, plus ca change…donnez-moi la bonnet de douche Rodney so that I can throw up into it.

    • A little bit short sighted there Ron.The break up of the Uk is playing exactly into the EU hands.Consider the timing of the referendum, 2014.Consider what else will happen this jolly year, especially with regards to the Lisbon treaty and a nine reigon England, Oh and dont forget they changed the term of parliament to a fixed five years, so no election and a very pointless one it will be ,until 2015 ,surprise surprise.

      I am Pro Scottish independence,I advocate independence for all of the home nations, but we must retain the common sense to act in union on the international stage.This could be via a British council, we could even invite Eire, five chairs, five votes on international matters, such as defence etc.A silly idea? Well call it something else if the word British bothers you and your celtic friends as much as it bothers this Englishman.Whatever the solution, we must not allow ourselves to be played like the trombones of stupidity, our vile treacherous leaders think we are and let them play on ancient history, to sell all of us to the supranational nightmare brewing over the channel.

      • @English. You are so right, we all have to be very careful on this one.

        There are times when I think the sooner the financial s**t hits the fan the better- Augean stables and all that. But of course, the question is what and, more to the point Who, then materialises on the horizon as our purported saviour. Thus are dictatorships born…

  21. Good lord did I read this right, more enquires? These are fast turning into a joke, the modern day bread and circuses, whilst Rome goes down the crapper. The phone hacking bollocks, was a sign of things to come, with actual actors playing their own characters, it was almost surreal. No doubt it will be televised on the news every day,nobody will be interested.Interested in anything that is, having long given up the will to live ,when it comes to news, information and TV. Which is exactly the desirable effect no doubt.

  22. The government is in fantasy land cutting back at MOD .Perhaps they might save more money cutting back on MPs we would get on better without these useless greedy windbags.

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