US ELECTION SENSATION: Paul Ryan, whatever happened to Barry?

Dear UK Sloggers born before 1955

I’m so happy (as you must be too) that the late British singer Marion Ryan’s twin son Paul is to be the Vice-Presidential running mate of Rintintin Mormon. This is Paul Ryan (left) in 1965:

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…and this is Paul last week:

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As you can see, his haircut has moved on, but his face is – miraculously – little aged. My suspicion is that somewhere in an attic near you is a painting of his twin brother Barry that looks about 163 years old. But I could be wrong.

You see – and this conspiracy theory is a lulu – the man in the White House is also called…..Barry. So here at The Slog, we asked a make-up artist and plastic surgeon to collaborate on the construction of what a blacked-up Barry Ryan might look like today. This is what they come up with:

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Well I don’t know about you, but if that isn’t Barack Obama singing Al Green two years ago*, then what is?

This will, of course, bring a whole new dimension to the American foreign-imposed elite theorists: one Marion Ryan twin will be replaced by another if Mitt wins…but whatever happens, one of these wicked demons will be in the White House.

Did you know, by the way, that Joe Biden has three sixes behind one ear, and shaves his scalp-horns down daily…..

* The last shot above is in reality Barry Ryan singing on a French TV show three years ago…in negative.

10 thoughts on “US ELECTION SENSATION: Paul Ryan, whatever happened to Barry?

  1. Apparently Paul died in 1992. But as someone else said (in the context of Keith Moon being invited to the Olympics closing show) death isn’t the social bar it used to be.

  2. John, I don’t know WordPress at all. But while your trolls can fake an email address they can’t (unless they’re cleverer than I suspect they are) fake their IP address. If you can’t block by IP address can you maybe extract (and maybe post) their IP addresses as they post. At minimum it would show how many there are.

  3. Well the Ryan twins give a better impression of being siblings than the Millipedes who could very well pass for different species

    • Please. That Millipede/ Nuliebore/Shameron,/Lib Dum/Gidiot thing that people do on the internet is soooo not funny any more. It’s been two years now, Just, please, for the love of God, be an adult; use the real name. A Millipede is a creature with a hundred legs, it doesn’t make sense on any level.

      I swear to God, I’ll take up trolling and post multiple great long rants in triplicate every time someone does it. I’ll swamp the place with my 500 email aliases, I will.

      • Oh, I’m sorry, let me rephrase that,

        Well the Ryan twins give a better impression of being siblings than the Millibands who could very well pass for different species

        Yes, I see what you mean, much pithier than the original.

        On another note, you mention God (twice in fact), is God important to you ? (I notice you capitalized it on both occurrences), do you think appeals to your God work ? I am interested because I’ve been looking for a God for a while now, yours sounds interesting, does He/She go by any other name ?

      • Yep, he sure does; Shall Be Known As The Non- Existent One

        Many thanks for the use of the correct Milliband nomenclature. It is so much less wearing and no less pithy for all that.

  4. The next thing you know, lunatic conspiracy theorists will be claiming that the prospective next VP of the US is disbarred due to being (a) deceased, and (b) from Yorkshire.

    Here are The Damned, several years after the summer of punk, with our Paul’s 1968 vintage “Eloise”:

    — Jez

  5. the crazy amount of trolling is getting out of hand. I still read your amazing
    prose with relish JW, but I tend to skip comments these days.

    It would’nt bother me if we could’nt comment at all anymore, or for a spell. You’d still get 3 mill and growing readers, as the cat is now out the bag, your readership is now in full snowball effect, globally.

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