At The end of the Day

Sooner or later, the Wappers start to show

Wrestling a snake to the floor before gutting it is never easy, and that’s what I’ve been doing for much of the day….not as yet with complete success. It’s not only stressful – after a few years, the stress begins to show. I have yet to see a US President, for example, leave Office looking any less than thirty years older than the day he was elected.

And yes girls, it would be nice to say ‘or she'; and I was for Hillary. But I think much of the stress of high office (and big office) is caused by the necessity to tell thumping great lies for most of the day for up to eight years. Which is why the latest picture of Rebekah Brooks at the top of this piece is so tragic.

For Becky Redtop is suffering from the extra-rapid ageing that goes with telling hundreds of Wapping lies 24/7 for seventeen years. The ghastly denouement we see above is what suddenly happens when, instead of Prime Ministers kissing your editor’s seat with every steaming great fib that drips from your thin lips, somebody says – instead – “Don’t make me f**kin’ larf gurl”.

Piers Morgan has been staying out of sight all day today, and I have a hunch he may not turn up on his CNN show tonight. I can now exclusively reveal that he too has had the same terrifying experience as Ms Brooks: all those hundreds of pages of lies about how people loved him (when he knew perfectly well they all thought he was a classic Arsenal supporting tosser) and all these latest denials about using phone hacks for stories….they too have taken their toll, as hundreds of journalists and celebs have suddenly started to shout, “Pants on fire!”

This is a Slog paparazzi’s exclusive shot taken early this evening as poor Piers left for the office:

We should all be humble tonight. We should all think to ourselves, ‘There but for me not being a complete arsehole go I’.

 

 

13 thoughts on “At The end of the Day

  1. “The Guardian” columnist, Marina Hyde, recently wrote
    about her former RedTop colleague, the late Sean Hoare.

    I wonder whether she will venture into print about her former bed-mate?

    Piers Morgan.

    Or to use his real name.

    Piers Stefan O’Meara.

  2. Sorry, I couldn’t sleep.

    Now, don’t get me wrong, but the other day you were talking about all the Nafissatou Diallo women. Looking at the picture of Piers Morgan (or whatever he calls himself these days) is it not possible that there is more than one of them used for the purposes of broadcasting?

    Now, I cannot claim to be an expert on this these days, I haven’t owned a TV since … well the last wasn’t my possession anyway, and when we split, but I digress.

    I could be wrong of course ;-)

    • Indeed. It would completely change the course of investigations w/r/t to the missing daughter, assuming that such wasn’t halted by people in high places for fear of cross-contamination…

  3. Must say I was surprised to learn that you supported Hilary Clinton ! The spin machine works a grand job on her but behind the scenes she appears to be quite a vicious nasty piece of work.
    I had been following her rise for years and the ‘unreported’ darling of the feminine left was apparantly not averse to making threats of violence (and using such) to anyone who threatened to expose herself or her ‘oh so huggable’ spouse.
    Would have pubished some links but dumped them when the Obahmessiah knocked her out of the presidentil running and I expected that she would sink into some sort of septic tank sitting in an underground hole somewhere.
    She is in my most humble opinion an American version of Hattie Hatepeople with a cosh in her pocket and an uzi 9mm in her handbag !

    • You are absolutely right, but she would’ve done a much better job than O’Drama with both deficit and bankers.

      • I doubt it. We would still have had Summers and his ilk plus possibly Krugman. She is still a tool of the mil industrial complex.

      • Yes, I was quite surprised that John supported the odious Hillary. As a rabid left winger she would have made an equal hash of the country’s (and world’s) finances.

    • John is very open about his footballing allegiance. He follows an entirely different set of “Reds” from up in the North-West (Salford I believe). Since the team I follow is not even in the same division, I feel I can be neutral on this point!

  4. Speaking of the effect of ageing, I had the startling thought that Hillary Clinton and Debbie Harry have recently become quite similar looking.

    Who’da thunk it?

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